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单身女子的138条军规 (ZT and more)字体[ ] 颜色[ 绿 ]
分类:随笔小记  创建于:2007-09-27 被查看:2352次 [收藏:日记|作者] [评论]
今天本来上了一天的班,很忙很紧的。回来其实有好多事情要做。看了这片单身女子的军规,很有意思。打了电话给我最好的女友,她是美国人,所以略略将里面的一些翻给她听。所以放下电话以后突然很想把整个都翻一下,无他,觉得有意思而已。

原文是在这里的。
http://www.jiaoyou8.com/friends_diary/beauty521/0_0_0/view_01520

1.  视爱情为生活奢侈品:有最好,没有也能活.
Consider love a luxury. It's great if you have it, but without it,you can still live on.

2.  若工作计划与男友约会档期冲突,取前者----前者不会辜负你(且越老越不会,除非你当三陪).
If your work schedule has a conflict with your dating schedule, choose work - it won't disappoint you and that is even more true as you age, unless you are in the erotic business...

3.  签任何合同之前至少看三遍----最具挑战性的合同是婚约.
Read through the contract at least three times, especially when it's the most challenging one - the contract of marriage .


4.  小女孩用吸烟,夜游,多交男友表示成熟,你就不必了.
Young girls think it's mature to smoke a cig, stay out late and have a lot of boyfriends. You shoud know better.

5.  随缘,但不是说不努力.
Relax, go with the flow, let the destiny do its work. But that doesn't mean you don't have to do a thing.


6.  手袋内必备物品:丝袜一双(穿裙子时),小手电筒一个(夜归时),防身喷雾一瓶(偏僻处单独行动时----最好不要到偏僻处单独行动),巧克力或蔬菜饼干一小板(加班时),好牌子护肤霜一盒(任何时候),钱包,里面有钱(任何时候).
Things you will need in your purse: a pair of panty hose when you wear a skirt, a small flashlight when you come home late, a pepper spray when you walk alone in dark valleys (of course, try to avoid that), a piece of chocolate or vegetable cracker when you have to work late, and at any time, a bottle of moisturizer from a good brand and a wallet with some money in it.

7.  为了你的身心健康可养一只宠物,为了宠物的身心健康,则不要养----据说它们太孤独了也会得忧郁症.
Keep a pet, for your sake; Don't keep a pet, for her sake. Pets can get depressed as well if they are too lonely, you know.

8.  每天吃维生素丸,坚持补钙,否则在浴缸里面一跤摔断腿,即使你能爬出来打急救电话并在医生赶来之前披上衣服恐怕也得在床上躺3月,一个夏天不能穿裙子.
Take vitamin and calcium daily, otherwise if god forbid you break your leg in the bathtub, even if you can manage to get out and put some clothes on before the paramedics come, you still have to stay in bed for more than three months. Just forget about wearing those sexy dress again this entire summer.

9.  每月记帐.
Balance your check book every month.

10.  人越少则冰箱要越要大,精神空虚,食物(高蛋白,多纤维,低脂肪,少热量,少食多餐)填充,若打开冰箱没有食物可鼓励你努力工作.
The less people there are in the house, the bigger the fridge should be. When you get lonely, seek comfort from quality food with high protein, high fiber and low calories. If the fridge happens to be empty, it can remind you that you need to work harder to feed yourself.

11.  若常常需要早起开会,请备高分贝闹钟一个----睡眠特好的人备三个.
If you have to get up early for meetings on a regular basis, get a louder alarm. If you are a sound sleeper, get three of them.

12.  酒吧里认识的男子就不必留电话了.
If you know the guy from a bar, no need to leave him your number.

13.  最好不要让初次约会的异性知道你住所,若对方坚持送,那么到楼下即可 ----相信我,他不”顺便上去喝杯茶”也不会渴死.
Better not to let your first date know exactly where you live. If he insists, stop him at the downstairs. Believe me, he won't die out of thirst without that cup of coffee or tea.

14.  若连续六个月每月置衫超过十件,考虑买房.
If for the past six months, every month you bought more than ten articles of clothing, you should consider getting a house instead.

15.  自己开车,车子比男人好的地方是:它不会自己跑掉----当然它可能被偷,但你可以买保险,男人则不能买保险.
Drive your own car. Cars are better than men in a way that they can't get away by themselves. Of course, they can get stolen, but you can get insurance for them; you can not do that with men.

16.  买保险.
Buy enough insurance.

17.  如果没车,不要买白皮鞋.

If you don't have a car, don't buy white shoes.


18.  办公室备一件厚外套,一把伞.

Leave a warm jacket and an umbrella at your office.


19.  同事的恭维就象香水,可以闻,但不要喝.

Compliments from coworkers are like parfume. You can smell it, but don't drink it.


20.  如果不幸你爱的男子有另一个女人,无论是老婆,未婚妻或女朋友,请不要动念头和她”见面谈一下”,没必要---即时走人!

If unfortunately you fall in love with an unvailable guy, whether he has a wife or fiancee or a girlfriend, don't even think about meeting her up for a chat. It's so unecessary. You should just wrap it up and go.


21.  永远不要问这个问题:”为什么不爱我\\?”

Don't ever ask this question: why don't you love me?


22.  不要预先说出决心

Don't speak out your decision first.


23.  男人对自己的好色就象律师对罪犯:明知有罪也要辩护---你知道就是啦.

Like laywers to criminals, men always have to defend their unsatiable lust, even if they themselves know they are crimes. You know it, so just give them a pass.


24.  没有任何事,任何人会重要到需要你过了半夜12点还苦想不睡.

Nothing or nobody is that important to be the reason why you can't sleep after 12AM.


25.  即使美若天仙,也要讲道理.

Even if you have a movie star's beauty, you have to be reasonable.


26.  也可以去相亲,但事先一定打听清楚对方的尊姓大名----否则连续三个周末梳妆打扮齐整,跟着不同的红娘羞答答去见同一个无聊男子,那实在太戏剧性了`````

If you are fixed up by other people, go for it. But make sure that at least you know the guy's name beforehand. Otherwise you can end up meeting the same boring guy with different matchmakers three weekends in a row. That will be what we call comedies.


27.  若没有五位数出场费,不要参加”非常男女”之类的电视节目.

If you are not paid by thousands, don't ever enter those dating games on TV.


28.  务必结交三五死党(同性最好),否则有可能在头疼脑热时要汤没汤要水没水最后把嘴伸进热带鱼缸或马桶内解渴```或心脏病突发死在床上八天都没人发觉.

Have some close friends, best if you can have some dearest girlfriends. Otherwsie, nobody would bring you water or soup when you have high fevers. Imagine you have to drink water from a fish tank or a toilet or even worse, nobody finds you dead from heart attack till the 8th day.


29.  任何时候都不要喝多```头天晚上吐的东西次日早上还要自己收拾,可能会吐第二次.

Don't drink more than you can take. Otherwise, you have to clean up after yourself the next morning. You may end up throwing up again.


30.  抽屉里放好必备药品.

Fill up your medicine cabin with emergency meds.


31.  家里的安眠药不要超过10粒.

If you take sleeping aid, don't keep more than ten pills at a time.


32.  即使你”真的”没有男友,备一只安全套也不多余.

Even if you really really don't have a boyfriend, it won't hurt to keep some condoms aside.


33.  真诚微笑,别怕皱纹.

Don't be thrifty with your genuine smiles.


34.  获得智慧,需以青春为代价.

You can't gain wisdom without giving up your youth.


35.  元宵节,中秋节,情人节若无节目可主动要求加班----免得出门触景生情或回家独自神伤,且给老板一个好印象.

If you have nothing to do, nowhere to go during holidays, volunteer to work overtime. That way, you impress your boss and you will not get sentimental in a crowd or being alone.


36.  生日时自己预定大束鲜花差人送到办公室----和父母家.

On your birthdays, send a bunch of flowers to yourself at the office and your parents.


37.  学会做几个好菜.

Learn to cook a few good dishes.


38.  周末给自己炖汤.

Cook some comfort food, such as soup for yourself at weekend.


39.  已结婚的前男友打电话来问最近好不好----说好.

If an already married ex-boyfriend calls and asks you how you are doing, just say you are doing just fine.



40.  过去,童话故事是以”很久很久以前````开头的,现在,童话故事是以”如果我还没有结婚`````”开头的,你已经过了听童话的年龄了.

When you were younger, fairy tales started with "A long long time ago"; Now fairy tales start with "Had I not been married...". You are too old for fairy tales.


41.  若确实有需要,可(在办公室以外的地方)上网给自己定购一个”仿真物品”但注意卫生,防止感染塑胶细菌.

If you really really need it, get those "toys" online, but not from your work computer. Be careful about hygiene though and watch out for infection.


42.  同居前请查体.

If you move in with a guy, both of you should take a physical exam.


43.  想的时候,想想再说.

If you miss a guy, think before you tell him so.


44.  不想的时候,说不.

If you don't miss a guy, just say you don't.


45.  若没有感情,不如去打网球.

If you don't feel anything for the guy, a tennis game with him is a better idea.


46.  爱你的工作,不要爱上你的上司.

Love your work, but don't fall in love with your boss.


47.  不要动念头做单亲妈妈---孩子不需要父亲,但你需要一个照顾孩子的人,非常需要有人照顾.

Don't be tempted to be a single mom. A kid doesn't have to have his dad around. But for a woman who has to take care of a kid, she needs a man to take good care of her.


48.  多赚点钱,但不要多到谁看上你你都要疑心的地步.
Work hard to earn more money, but not to the extent to become skeptical on every man who is interested in you.


49.  有望得到的要努力,无望得到的不介意,则无论输赢,姿态都会好看.
If there is hope, try harder; if there is absolutely no hope, don't mind it too much. Winning or losing, it's your mentality that counts.


50.  其实,人生即使有伴也是寂寞的----不如及早培养兴趣,中年之后,种花养鱼
Actually even with a partner, one can still feel lonely. You need a hobby or two when you are young, so that when you are older, you can still have fun in a garden or with a fish tank.

51.  有人称赞你年轻,还是应该高兴的.
If someone pays you compliment on how young you look, you should feel grateful and happy.

52.  谈恋爱就象打麻将,不认真没乐趣,太认真易伤心----培养点游戏精神.
The game of love is like the game of mahjong. If you are not serious, then there is no fun; if you are too serious, then you get upset too easily. Enjoy the game.


53.  不必对新男友坦白过去,如果爱他,尤其不必.
You don't have to tell everything of your past to your new boyfriend. especially if you really like him.

54.  与任何人,在任何情况下都不拍欢爱之镜头.
In any circumstance, don't shoot any video or picture of your intimate moment, no matter who you are with.


55.  真喜欢一样东西,就买吧.
If you truly really like one thing, go buy it.

56.  穿新鞋出门前,多试几步.
Try to walk a few steps before you go out with your new shoes.

57.  家具轻便,简洁,易清理,好搬动,若没有工程天才,别买”宜家”之类需自己动手装配的新潮玩艺(名词解释:锤子:一种专门用来砸破手指的工具.)
Get furnitures that are not too heavy, easy to move, simple in design and easy to clean. If you are not gifted in engineering, don't buy furnitures from IKEA that need assembly. Defintion of hammer: a tool of which the only use is to hurt your own fingers.


58.  中年发迹而离婚的男人求婚,说不.
Say no to the proposal of a middle aged man who just got rich and divorced.

59.  曾经背叛过你的男人想回头,说不.
Say no to the man who's betrayed you and wants to come back.

60.  你曾经背叛的男人请你回头,说不.
Say no to the man who has been betrayed by you but wants you back.

61.  ````````已经到了这个时候,就更不要将就了.
You've waited this long. It's alrady past the point to settle down for less.

62.  答应请求时面带微笑,说不的时候清晰肯定.
Smile when you say yes; be clear and resolute when you say no.

63.  男人的主要功能时产生精子----但我们现在有了精子银行.
One main functionality of men is to produce semens, but we already have banks for that nowadays.


64.  独居的好处之一是,你不必在一个很久以前爱过的人的臂弯醒来.
One good thing about living alone is that you don't have to wake up in the arms of a man who you used to love a long time ago.

65.  保持青春的秘诀,有颗不安定的心!
The secret to stay young is to have a heart that never wants to settle.

66.  征婚广告不是情书.
Introductions at dating sites are not love letters.

67.  出门散步穿双平底鞋,带好电话.
Wear flats for walks. And remember to bring your cell phone along.

68.  无论蕾丝内衣还是工作报告,简洁都是最好的.
The best lacy underwear has the simplest design; the best report at work has the most concise wording.

69.  浪漫是一袭美丽的晚礼服,但你不能一天到晚都穿着它啊.
Romance is like a beutiful evening gown. Pretty, but you can't wear it everyday.

70.  嫁大款就象抢银行,收益总很大,但后患无穷,若能不试,还是不试为好.
Marrying to rich is like robbing a bank. You gain a lot, but there are always a lot of concequences. If you don't have to, don't ever try it.


71.  对男人的考验,怎么说呢----就像智力测验,目的就是想看看他到底有多蠢
Testing a guy, how to put it, it's like putting him up to an IQ test. The only purpose of it is to find out how stupid he really is.

72.  对于一个错误的诺言,你要有勇气违背它.
If you've made a promise that turns out to be a mistake, you have to have to courage to own it up.

73.  大事坚持原则,小事学会变通.
Stick to your principals on important things; be flexible with not so important ones.

74.  培养些小小的好习惯,比如早睡,比如饭后漱口,比如喝淡茶,比如工间操----好习惯如同零钱罐,每天放一点,年终会惊喜.

Build some good routines, i.e. go to bed early, brush your teeth after each meal, drink light tea, exerciese more. Good habbits are like savings - a little by day adds up to a huge pleasant surprise at the end of the year.


75.  任何东西都不能以健康做交换.
Nothing can be traded for your health

76.  一个人是否可靠,全看你用什么样的手段控制他.
Whether a man is reliable depends on how you manage him.

77.  一切都不需争论,只需给出结果.
Nothing is worth arguing. Results prove everything.

78.  男人总是向不把他看在眼里的女人献殷勤----命运也是.
Men always chase after women who don't give a crap about them, and so does fate.

79.  想满意,自己做,菩萨合掌念菩萨,求人不如求己.
If you want to do it right, do it yourself. Rather than spending time on prayers, you should start to rely on yourself.


80.  不要借钱,若一定要借,借银行.
Don't borrow money. If you have to, borrow it from a bank.

81.  不要借给人钱,若一定要借,别打算他还.
Don't loan others money. If you have to, be prepared that you will never get the money back.

82.  学着理财,即使你学的是考古或小提琴.
Get your financial house in order. Even if you major in archaeology or violin.

83.  别用男朋友的生日做密码----常常换,很烦的.
Don't use your boyfriend's birthday as your password. It's going to be a drag if you have to change it often.


84.  换男朋友的时候,记得换防盗门.
Change your locks when you change your boyfriend.

85.  太在意一个男人往往得不到他----钱也一样.
If you care too much about a guy, you tend to lose him. It's the same thing with money.

86.  床买大一点,可以横着睡,枕头要两个,枕一个,抱一个.
Get a bigger bed. You can lie in it whichever way you want. Get two pillows, one under your head, the other under your arm.

87.  床头放本好书.
Have a good book on your bed stand.

88.  床上用品一定要品质好的,男人也是一种床上用品.
Everything on your bed has to have good qualities, including your man.

89.  每天大笑几次对身体好----若没人给你讲笑话,看(猫和老鼠).
Laugh a few times a day. It's good for your health. If nobody amuses you, watch some funny cartoons.


90.  找一项有兴趣的体育活动.(做爱不算),坚持.
Find a physical hobby and stick to it, love making not included.

91.  心情失落时不要淋雨,听慢歌,看悲情电影.泡在浴缸内喝红酒,叫个女友去爬山.
If you are upset, don't stand in the rain, don't listen to slow songs, and don't watch sentimental movies. Drink some wine while taking a bubble bath or just go hiking with your girlfriends.


92.  每天抱怨,唠叨,自怜的时间不要超过10分钟.
Don't waste more than 10 minutes a day on whining, nagging or self-pity.

93.  不要常常计算得失----那是保险公司和你的对手的事.
Don't calculate what you've gained and what you've lost. Leave that to the insurance company or your rivals.


94.  遇到好男人不妨追.
You can be aggressive if you meet a really good guy.


95.  若你的女友的丈夫事律师,医生,经济人,出版商,电脑高手----不妨请他给自己参考买搂,保险,投资,出书,装软件-----但记得每次均邀伉俪同往.
If your girlfriend's husband is a lawyer, a doctor, a broker, a publisher or a computer geek, you can certainly ask him for advice on legal issues, health problems, investements, book deals or software installations, but always remember to invite your girlfriend along.


96.  诚实事一种美德,但不必因此就随和女友抨击她丈夫,跟同事一起讨伐老板
Honesty is a virtue, but that doens't mean you can criticize your girlfriend's husband when she does so, or you can speak ill of your boss when your coworkers do.

97.  衣服买少一点,好一点,三季没穿一次的衣服即可送人.
Trade quantity for quality when it comes to clothing. If you haven't worn that piece for three seasons in a row, it's time to send it away.


98.  里子比面子重要,保养品当然比化妆品多,好,贵.
Inside trumps outside. You should buy more nutrition supplements than cosmetic products. And they should be better quality and more expensive too.


99.  工作之余,尽量在室外活动.
After work, go outside as much as you can.

100.  若无杀伐决断之天才,不要给人做情妇.
If you are not a genious at strategizing, you are not suit for the role of someone's mistress.

101.  不要在想让你哭的人面前哭.
Don't ever cry in front of a guy who wants to see your tear.

102.  女人有左右大脑,男人有左右睾丸.
Women have two brains, left and right; men have two testicles, left and right.

103.  祈祷,不如思考-----上帝一定不是女人,否则不会创造这么多不完美的女人.
If you have time to pray, why don't start thinking more? God can't be a woman, otherwise why did she create so many imperfect ones?

104.  老而弥纯是可耻的.
Pretending to be naive after a certain age is shameful.

105.  时代不同了,男女都一样,接保险丝,修马桶,换轮胎,装杀毒软件并不比生孩子更难.
Time has changed. Anything man can do, women can do as well. Fixing a broken fuse or a broken toilette, changing a flat tire or setting up an anti-virus software, it's nothing after all, especially compared with giving birth to a child.

106.  每年做妇科检查.
Go to your OBGYN for an annual check up.


107.  了解自己的身体状况.
Know your own body.


108.  钥匙一定要在父母或好友家存一套.
Keep a spare key at your parent's or your close friend's.

109.  若你的房间越来越雪白素净,访客越来越少,桌面地板不允许有一丝灰尘,听到孩子的吵闹会心烦,每天洗手超过20次-----去看心理医生.
If your room is getting neater and cleaner, or you have less and less visitors, or you can't stand a single dust on the table or the floor, or you get upset hearing a kid's crying, or you wash your hands for more than 20 times a day - you need to see a shrink now.


110.  即使你真的不喜欢小孩,也不要说出来.
Even if you don't like kids, there is no need to let everybody know.

111.  别逼男人撒谎,他会恨你,也别把他的话当真,你会恨他.
Don't force a man into lies, for he will hate you. Don't take his words too seriously, for you will hate him.

112.  忌妒会要人命----要是你没了命,你就没有了你生命终很重要的一部分
Jealousy can sometimes make you pay with your life

113.  私人朋友不要常到办公场所找你.
Don't let your friends come to your workplace too often.

114.  不必好奇别人怎样评价你,想想你是怎样评价他的.
No need to wonder about what one says about you. Just think what you said about him.

115.  你看,男人从不开口向人请教如何才能让婚姻和事业两全其美的问题.
See, men never ask about how to have both marriage and career.

116.  爱不是做爱-----爱是,想和他一起睡觉.
Love is not making love. Love him, is to sleep tight with him.

117.  所谓绅士,就是会用双肘和膝部支撑自己体重的男人.
A gentleman knows how to give in.

118.  简单说,常常让你微笑的男人就是好男人.
Let's just put it this way, a man who brings a smile on your face is a keeper.

119.  -----是的,还是爱更重要一点.

Yes, everything considerred, love is more important.


120.  感情之事,知其不可而不为.
When it comes to love, don't do the things you know you shouldn't do.

121.  不要高估自己所没有的东西的价值.

Don't overestimate the things you don't have.

122.  别和道德观和你不同的人有私交.
Don't get too close with the people who hold different moral values from yours.

123.  若再不开始孝敬父母就太迟了!!

If you still don't know how to treat your parents, that is way too late!


124.  对女朋友要忠诚.

Be loyal to your girlfriends.


125.  尊严感如胸衣,把女人托的高贵,但故意显露,则流于庸俗.
Pride is like a bra. It can make you look very tasteful, but if you reveal it too much, it can also make you look cheap.



126.  椅子不舒服,不如站起来走.
If you don't feel comfortable in a chair, get up and walk away.



127.  保持身材优点有三:
a资源紧张,可占少空间;
 b跑起来比较快
 c在男人心目中的份量,和浴室磅秤上的成反比.

Three good things if you keep fit:

a. in a world in which the resources are limited, you take less room;

b. you can run faster

c. the less you weigh on a scale, the more you weigh in a man's heart


128.  你看上去有多大,其实就多大.

Your actual age is how old you look.


129.  再爱他,也不必为他去隆胸.

Even if you love him to death, there is no need to augument your breasts for him.


130.  不要迷恋包装绚丽的东西.
Don't get obssessed with things that are wrapped in pretty packages.



131.  时尚杂志上的每季新衣是推荐给影星和模特的.

You see those clothes in fashion magazines? They are for movie stars and models.


132.  别逼他去当英雄----肯帮你洗碗倒垃圾就是了.
Don't ask him to be a hero. Be glad he can lend you a hand in washing dishes or taking out trash.



133.  若有机会上学,去上学.
If you have the chance to get more school, do it.



134.  快乐!
Be happy!



135.  sophie tucker说:女人从出生到18岁,需要好的家庭,18到35岁,需要好的容貌,35到55岁,需要好的个性,55岁以后,需要好多钞票.
Sophie Tucker says, "From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash."



136.  当然应该痴情等待那个对的人最终出现----但在漫长无聊的等待中,你也可以先和不对的人聊聊天.

Of course you should patiently wait for the right guy to show up - but while you are bored during the long wait, you can still have a chat with guys not so "right" for you.


137.  要知道,一个女人到了25岁还没有遇到那个”合适的男人”其实是一件幸运的事`````

You know, if a girl hasn't met her match when she reaches 25, she's actually very lucky.


138.  记住:你只能活一辈子.

Remember, you have but one life to live
※ 来源: http://www.JiaoYou8.com ※
 
may2223
42岁,北卡
评论于:2008-01-14 22:43:13  [评论]

怪怪的,也许是酷酷的。 但愿吧。

嘿, 你好像真的认识生活中的我。 :)

 
DUNST
47岁,内布拉斯加
评论于:2008-01-08 14:43:28  [评论]

你都能做到吗?

最好不,

如果你真的做到了,一是怕你累着了,二是怕你没有生活激情。

我可以想像你在一大城市里的样子,怪怪的,也许是酷酷的。 但愿吧。

 
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