I was filling out some forms for the new job, and this routine question of emergency contact came up. Between my blood relative who's hundreds of miles away and my best friend within three miles of reach, I chose the latter. But even as the greatest friend that one can ever be, she is still just filling in as a temp. And that's right, among everything that I'm seeking for in life, finding a guy to permanently fill in the role as my emergency contact, is now on the top of the list.
So, would you like to be my emergency contact? In some weird way, I almost think this is the most romantic thing I can ever say to a guy. Weird, I know. And I can sound queer sometimes. But honestly, in my mind, more than once, I have imagined a candle lit dinner, during which I'd pop this question while smiling at this guy, who beyond everything else that he is, has the kindest heart and warmest hands in the whole wild world.
Yeah, welcome to my fantasy world.
But really, what beats this? Sure, there are plenty of phrases you can say to your special someone. There is "I adore you" that makes you smitten, and there is that overused "I love you" that makes you shaken; there is "Will you marry me" that shows the commitment and there is "I can't live without you" that hints the desperation. But none of these in my mind shows the ultimate trust as my question does. To ask a guy to be your emergency contact, is basically handing your whole life to him, if, God forbid, anything should happen to you. This is beyond telling him that you adore him, you love him, or you want to spend the whole life with him. This is about you breaking down all your walls, and giving up all the control you have in your life, just for one guy, a guy maybe not even that special.
Fantastic, isn't it?
Fantastic it is. But I still don't know if the gap between the fantasy and the reality is too big for me to handle. Hey, maybe it's getting bigger and bigger as we speak. I wouldn't be totally shocked if one day I would just feel all tired and decide to seek no further no more. I guess when that happens, I can either fill in that blank with whoever's name, or just leave it absolutely blank.
You know, I'm actually getting a little tired.
Never thought I'd like a song titled as Bubbly.
About three weeks ago, I was at a ski resort, after a long week at work, a long day of driving and after throwing up all my lunch and more. Standing outside some restaurant in the chilly Feburary weather, I heard this song again. My mind was not in the most peaceful place at that moment, considering my stomach was still churning, and I was on the edge of losing my job because the company was in a transition phase heading to closing. Hearing this song echoing in the air, I felt certain calmness that I never felt before and quite needed at the time. The melody was simple, the voice was clean and pure, and the lyrics were touching yet far from being cheesy. Exactly at the moment, I took a deep breath and told myself that someday all the turbulance I was going through would pass, and someday down the road, I'd be back to my old self, listening to a song like this on a lazy Saturday. And everything is going to be OK.
So that was exactly what I was able to do last Saturday. For that, I'm thankful.
Suddenly I remember someone told me many years ago about one song, which goes like "I am a big big girl in a big world". No doubt, I am a big girl now. And some may even argue than I am more old than big, if you know what I mean. Being a big girl is great, but the thing is, I never said it was easy. It's never easy and is never going to be. And that thought, to be honest with you, makes me scared more than anything in the world.
What just happened? All hasn't sunk in yet... Who would've thunk? A sudden round of layoff... And thank goodness, I'm not affected, or at least for now and for the next six months and hopefully a few more beyond.
Shouting from inside that I needed to move on, blaming my inability to take the change on the circumstance that I have absolutely no control over, or maybe just unconsciously waiting for something or someone makes the final decision for me - that was then. Now there it comes. I feel the rush, the urge, but weirdly, not the fear.
I never prayed. The best I thought I could do in that department was to keep my hopes alive and cross my fingers, and perhaps toes as well. So I'm keeping them crossed. Well, maybe I can even throw in a prayer or two at bedtime. Dear whoever, let it all played out well... let it all played out well.
I can't dive alone and this is not one of those "I don't want to die alone" moments. OK, maybe to some degree it is, but I'd resent to admit that's just that...
Back from my second diving trip, my January got a little better. January for some reason has always been hard to me in the recent two years, sickness and worries in the family and all. And I'm not being sentimental here, just talking about real crappy things that one has to face in one's mundane life.
Anyway, the sunshine from Florida cheered me up a bit. Two days ago, I was on a boat in a spring river seeking for manatees. 79 degree, breezing, I had my new wetsuit on, thinking about the slightest chance that someday I'd have a real dive buddy on a trip like this. Hey, this time my dive buddy was my diving coach. I can't complain about that, but you know what I mean.
The next day on my first dive, I freaked out when water flushed into my mask while I was trying to clear it. I panicked and took a breath through my nose - yeah, I can be that stupid from time to time. I choked; for a split second, I thoguht I'd die on the 6th dive of my life. Of course I didn't, after ascending to the surface from 35 feet below. For the next ten minutes, dumbfounded, I couldn't do any basic skills, and that was until I saw this huge turtle in the water 5 feet above me. My coach said that was the moment I wrapped up myself and did everything I needed to do. I went down deeper from there, to 45 feet under. I'm telling you, I was still fearful, but aslo a little more fearless, even when I felt I was alone down there.
And here is to that.
Consider love a luxury. It's great if you have it, but without it,you can still live on.
If your work schedule has a conflict with your dating schedule, choose work - it won't disappoint you and that is even more true as you age, unless you are in the erotic business...
Read through the contract at least three times, especially when it's the most challenging one - the contract of marriage .
Young girls think it's mature to smoke a cig, stay out late and have a lot of boyfriends. You shoud know better.
Relax, go with the flow, let the destiny do its work. But that doesn't mean you don't have to do a thing.
Things you will need in your purse: a pair of panty hose when you wear a skirt, a small flashlight when you come home late, a pepper spray when you walk alone in dark valleys (of course, try to avoid that), a piece of chocolate or vegetable cracker when you have to work late, and at any time, a bottle of moisturizer from a good brand and a wallet with some money in it.
Keep a pet, for your sake; Don't keep a pet, for her sake. Pets can get depressed as well if they are too lonely, you know.
Take vitamin and calcium daily, otherwise if god forbid you break your leg in the bathtub, even if you can manage to get out and put some clothes on before the paramedics come, you still have to stay in bed for more than three months. Just forget about wearing those sexy dress again this entire summer.
Balance your check book every month.
The less people there are in the house, the bigger the fridge should be. When you get lonely, seek comfort from quality food with high protein, high fiber and low calories. If the fridge happens to be empty, it can remind you that you need to work harder to feed yourself.
If you have to get up early for meetings on a regular basis, get a louder alarm. If you are a sound sleeper, get three of them.
If you know the guy from a bar, no need to leave him your number.
13. 最好不要让初次约会的异性知道你住所,若对方坚持送,那么到楼下即可 ----相信我,他不”顺便上去喝杯茶”也不会渴死.
Better not to let your first date know exactly where you live. If he insists, stop him at the downstairs. Believe me, he won't die out of thirst without that cup of coffee or tea.
If for the past six months, every month you bought more than ten articles of clothing, you should consider getting a house instead.
Drive your own car. Cars are better than men in a way that they can't get away by themselves. Of course, they can get stolen, but you can get insurance for them; you can not do that with men.
Buy enough insurance.
If you don't have a car, don't buy white shoes.
Leave a warm jacket and an umbrella at your office.
Compliments from coworkers are like parfume. You can smell it, but don't drink it.
If unfortunately you fall in love with an unvailable guy, whether he has a wife or fiancee or a girlfriend, don't even think about meeting her up for a chat. It's so unecessary. You should just wrap it up and go.
Don't ever ask this question: why don't you love me?
Don't speak out your decision first.
Like laywers to criminals, men always have to defend their unsatiable lust, even if they themselves know they are crimes. You know it, so just give them a pass.
Nothing or nobody is that important to be the reason why you can't sleep after 12AM.
Even if you have a movie star's beauty, you have to be reasonable.
If you are fixed up by other people, go for it. But make sure that at least you know the guy's name beforehand. Otherwise you can end up meeting the same boring guy with different matchmakers three weekends in a row. That will be what we call comedies.
If you are not paid by thousands, don't ever enter those dating games on TV.
Have some close friends, best if you can have some dearest girlfriends. Otherwsie, nobody would bring you water or soup when you have high fevers. Imagine you have to drink water from a fish tank or a toilet or even worse, nobody finds you dead from heart attack till the 8th day.
Don't drink more than you can take. Otherwise, you have to clean up after yourself the next morning. You may end up throwing up again.
Fill up your medicine cabin with emergency meds.
If you take sleeping aid, don't keep more than ten pills at a time.
Even if you really really don't have a boyfriend, it won't hurt to keep some condoms aside.
Don't be thrifty with your genuine smiles.
You can't gain wisdom without giving up your youth.
If you have nothing to do, nowhere to go during holidays, volunteer to work overtime. That way, you impress your boss and you will not get sentimental in a crowd or being alone.
On your birthdays, send a bunch of flowers to yourself at the office and your parents.
Learn to cook a few good dishes.
Cook some comfort food, such as soup for yourself at weekend.
If an already married ex-boyfriend calls and asks you how you are doing, just say you are doing just fine.
When you were younger, fairy tales started with "A long long time ago"; Now fairy tales start with "Had I not been married...". You are too old for fairy tales.
If you really really need it, get those "toys" online, but not from your work computer. Be careful about hygiene though and watch out for infection.
If you move in with a guy, both of you should take a physical exam.
If you miss a guy, think before you tell him so.
If you don't miss a guy, just say you don't.
If you don't feel anything for the guy, a tennis game with him is a better idea.
Love your work, but don't fall in love with your boss.
Don't be tempted to be a single mom. A kid doesn't have to have his dad around. But for a woman who has to take care of a kid, she needs a man to take good care of her.
Work hard to earn more money, but not to the extent to become skeptical on every man who is interested in you.
If there is hope, try harder; if there is absolutely no hope, don't mind it too much. Winning or losing, it's your mentality that counts.
Actually even with a partner, one can still feel lonely. You need a hobby or two when you are young, so that when you are older, you can still have fun in a garden or with a fish tank.
If someone pays you compliment on how young you look, you should feel grateful and happy.
The game of love is like the game of mahjong. If you are not serious, then there is no fun; if you are too serious, then you get upset too easily. Enjoy the game.
You don't have to tell everything of your past to your new boyfriend. especially if you really like him.
In any circumstance, don't shoot any video or picture of your intimate moment, no matter who you are with.
If you truly really like one thing, go buy it.
Try to walk a few steps before you go out with your new shoes.
Get furnitures that are not too heavy, easy to move, simple in design and easy to clean. If you are not gifted in engineering, don't buy furnitures from IKEA that need assembly. Defintion of hammer: a tool of which the only use is to hurt your own fingers.
Say no to the proposal of a middle aged man who just got rich and divorced.
Say no to the man who's betrayed you and wants to come back.
Say no to the man who has been betrayed by you but wants you back.
You've waited this long. It's alrady past the point to settle down for less.
Smile when you say yes; be clear and resolute when you say no.
One main functionality of men is to produce semens, but we already have banks for that nowadays.
One good thing about living alone is that you don't have to wake up in the arms of a man who you used to love a long time ago.
The secret to stay young is to have a heart that never wants to settle.
Introductions at dating sites are not love letters.
Wear flats for walks. And remember to bring your cell phone along.
The best lacy underwear has the simplest design; the best report at work has the most concise wording.
Romance is like a beutiful evening gown. Pretty, but you can't wear it everyday.
Marrying to rich is like robbing a bank. You gain a lot, but there are always a lot of concequences. If you don't have to, don't ever try it.
Testing a guy, how to put it, it's like putting him up to an IQ test. The only purpose of it is to find out how stupid he really is.
If you've made a promise that turns out to be a mistake, you have to have to courage to own it up.
Stick to your principals on important things; be flexible with not so important ones.
Build some good routines, i.e. go to bed early, brush your teeth after each meal, drink light tea, exerciese more. Good habbits are like savings - a little by day adds up to a huge pleasant surprise at the end of the year.
Nothing can be traded for your health
Whether a man is reliable depends on how you manage him.
Nothing is worth arguing. Results prove everything.
Men always chase after women who don't give a crap about them, and so does fate.
If you want to do it right, do it yourself. Rather than spending time on prayers, you should start to rely on yourself.
Don't borrow money. If you have to, borrow it from a bank.
Don't loan others money. If you have to, be prepared that you will never get the money back.
Get your financial house in order. Even if you major in archaeology or violin.
Don't use your boyfriend's birthday as your password. It's going to be a drag if you have to change it often.
Change your locks when you change your boyfriend.
If you care too much about a guy, you tend to lose him. It's the same thing with money.
Get a bigger bed. You can lie in it whichever way you want. Get two pillows, one under your head, the other under your arm.
Have a good book on your bed stand.
Everything on your bed has to have good qualities, including your man.
Laugh a few times a day. It's good for your health. If nobody amuses you, watch some funny cartoons.
Find a physical hobby and stick to it, love making not included.
If you are upset, don't stand in the rain, don't listen to slow songs, and don't watch sentimental movies. Drink some wine while taking a bubble bath or just go hiking with your girlfriends.
Don't waste more than 10 minutes a day on whining, nagging or self-pity.
Don't calculate what you've gained and what you've lost. Leave that to the insurance company or your rivals.
You can be aggressive if you meet a really good guy.
If your girlfriend's husband is a lawyer, a doctor, a broker, a publisher or a computer geek, you can certainly ask him for advice on legal issues, health problems, investements, book deals or software installations, but always remember to invite your girlfriend along.
Honesty is a virtue, but that doens't mean you can criticize your girlfriend's husband when she does so, or you can speak ill of your boss when your coworkers do.
Trade quantity for quality when it comes to clothing. If you haven't worn that piece for three seasons in a row, it's time to send it away.
Inside trumps outside. You should buy more nutrition supplements than cosmetic products. And they should be better quality and more expensive too.
After work, go outside as much as you can.
If you are not a genious at strategizing, you are not suit for the role of someone's mistress.
Don't ever cry in front of a guy who wants to see your tear.
Women have two brains, left and right; men have two testicles, left and right.
If you have time to pray, why don't start thinking more? God can't be a woman, otherwise why did she create so many imperfect ones?
Pretending to be naive after a certain age is shameful.
Time has changed. Anything man can do, women can do as well. Fixing a broken fuse or a broken toilette, changing a flat tire or setting up an anti-virus software, it's nothing after all, especially compared with giving birth to a child.
Go to your OBGYN for an annual check up.
Know your own body.
Keep a spare key at your parent's or your close friend's.
If your room is getting neater and cleaner, or you have less and less visitors, or you can't stand a single dust on the table or the floor, or you get upset hearing a kid's crying, or you wash your hands for more than 20 times a day - you need to see a shrink now.
Even if you don't like kids, there is no need to let everybody know.
Don't force a man into lies, for he will hate you. Don't take his words too seriously, for you will hate him.
Jealousy can sometimes make you pay with your life
Don't let your friends come to your workplace too often.
No need to wonder about what one says about you. Just think what you said about him.
See, men never ask about how to have both marriage and career.
Love is not making love. Love him, is to sleep tight with him.
A gentleman knows how to give in.
Let's just put it this way, a man who brings a smile on your face is a keeper.
Yes, everything considerred, love is more important.
When it comes to love, don't do the things you know you shouldn't do.
Don't overestimate the things you don't have.
Don't get too close with the people who hold different moral values from yours.
If you still don't know how to treat your parents, that is way too late!
Be loyal to your girlfriends.
Pride is like a bra. It can make you look very tasteful, but if you reveal it too much, it can also make you look cheap.
If you don't feel comfortable in a chair, get up and walk away.
Three good things if you keep fit:
a. in a world in which the resources are limited, you take less room;
b. you can run faster
c. the less you weigh on a scale, the more you weigh in a man's heart
Your actual age is how old you look.
Even if you love him to death, there is no need to augument your breasts for him.
Don't get obssessed with things that are wrapped in pretty packages.
You see those clothes in fashion magazines? They are for movie stars and models.
Don't ask him to be a hero. Be glad he can lend you a hand in washing dishes or taking out trash.
If you have the chance to get more school, do it.
135. sophie tucker说:女人从出生到18岁,需要好的家庭,18到35岁,需要好的容貌,35到55岁,需要好的个性,55岁以后,需要好多钞票.
Sophie Tucker says, "From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash."
Of course you should patiently wait for the right guy to show up - but while you are bored during the long wait, you can still have a chat with guys not so "right" for you.
You know, if a girl hasn't met her match when she reaches 25, she's actually very lucky.
Remember, you have but one life to live
||字体 [大 中 小]
颜色[蓝 绿 黑]
虽然尽力不用这个词形容我过去三四年的生活，不过想想觉得还是有点‘熬’的味道。 独立在于女生，不论是刻意或者不刻意，总是脱不了一些无奈的情绪。今年可以算是有点熬出头的味道来了。七月份的时候， 心情有点变化，觉得还是积极一点看看有什么可以改变的地方吧， 即时不能马上改变，也可以供将来改变的时候参考。这就是我上网的初衷了。我觉得还蛮健康的，希望也不很高。
我不是一个喜欢记日记的人。年轻一点的时候，记了几天，回过几天再看的时候，通常会被自己恶心一把。可能现在自己自怨自怜的毛病稍改了些，目前这几篇日记我查看的时候还没有吐过。如果倒是恶心或者难受到你了，我也没有抱歉的意思。有人可能对我基本用英文写日记不是很理解，或者说不是很欣赏。我是这么想的。我比较不喜欢中文英文混着写，这是第一样。第二就是，我自觉英文写的还算通畅可看， 我也希望将来的那位会耐心看下去，而且不至于反感。 如果能够欣赏其中流露的一点点情绪，那我想我也就没有白写了。第三就是，我个人觉得，可能是因为不是母语的缘故，写英文我比较容易控制距离感。我本质是个欣赏婉转多一点的人，特别是在网上，我觉得弄的好像很熟的样子很没有必要。这也就是我的个人看法而已，别人怎么看，我也不太管的着。当然你说你这样怎么能上网交友，征婚？我想这却也是个问题。 不过我已经不年轻了，这些性格里的基本因素也不可能因为要网上交友征婚就改了。不能接受这一点的人，我想在现实生活中我也不可能持续交往下去的。
先当然还是要谢谢。不过我觉得有些人可能也没有仔细看就加了， 然后也就大概等你加他了。这样到底有什么意义，我还是不太明了。我自己的朋友数目是少于20人的。 我个人觉得打着找终身伴侣的牌子，朋友数达到三位数，又常来，又呆了很久，其实是件很可怕的事情。这也是我为什么最近给好友看的照片摘下来，至少没有人因为要看照片而加我了。也算是这一个多月来的一点经验总结。
I thought I stated very clearly in the first sentence of my introduction. When it comes to marital status, to say that I'll tell you later is just not good enough for me. I'm too old to ignore your vague attitude and you are probably too old to have one. But before you can clarify that, please don't add me to your friend
list. There is just absolutely no point of doing that. I'm still feeling fine
alone and honestly I hate to see that so called popularity gauge going
up to three-digit while my original mission is far from being completed.
One more thing, I have nothing against people who are divorced. In fact, I don't think that is a deal breaker for me either, although I'm very certain that I'm not ready for a relationship with kids from previous marriages at this juncture.
K... maybe these thoughts won't matter a bit tomorrow morning, since I just took a few pills for my slightly plugged left ear. Drug induced insomnia hit me hard tonight. While not totally being my normal self, I still try to follow my motto and stay true to every moment, so I decide to write these following thoughts down.
1. Next year, when I go diving in the Atlantic ocean, or the Pacific ocean, or the Gulf of Mexico, 30 feet under the water, I hope there is someone, sweet, kind and strong, to hold my left hand with the strength of his whole life. And when he hand signals "are you ok" to me, he really really means it.
2. Next year, when I want to go out for an icecream cone after 9pm, I hope there is this sweet and kind someone who just picks up the car and drives me to any icecream shop that I'd like to go to.
3. Next year, when I go back home, I hope that I don't have to endure a half-hour interrogation on why I am not married and for how many more years my reproduction system can stay healthy before it's too late.
4.Next year, I hope that this sweet and kind someone feels he's becoming a better person because he's with me.
End of thoughts.
|Today concluded the pool sessions of my scuba diving training and the next step would be a check out trip in north Florida. Granted, I seemed to be the least capable person in the class of five, although I can always use the excuse that I'm the only girl out there and I have strength of a chicken.
Nontheless, I think I'm ready to dive in. Staying under the water, even though it's only 10 feet deep under, makes you feel differently. You are so aware of each breath you take in and each one you breathe out, which you've completely taken for granted on the ground. Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of my blue fins and that reminded me of little mermaids out there in the sea. Haha, I wonder if there is any mermaid with the same tiny little fins just as mine.
I swam around alone for a couple of minutes after the session. I can get better with my flutters kicks, for sure, but hearing myself breathing, slowly propelling around under the water, I felt so relaxed - as if the whole world and the fuss that comes with it, don't matter any more. What really truly mattered at that moment was to breathe, normally, slowly and deeply. And we can probably say that this also applies to any other moment of life. But somehow once we get onto the ground, we tend to get goofier or lose the real meaning of each moment of being alive, so to speak.
It's going to be a heck of week, but my right brain, which is in charge right now, tells me everything is going to be OK. And cross my fingers that my left brain will work along when it's called upon.
And hopefully there will be some pictures worth sharing with you all.
I was trying to introduce Chungking Express to a coworker of mine today. I think I sold it well, because at least at the end, he said he would check out the movie - or maybe he just wanted to politely shut me up.
I've always loved Chungking Express for three things:
1. Takeshi Kaneshiro's (金城武) good looks.
2. Those canned pinapple expired on 5/1/1994
3. That dripping towel
I have to say among these three things, the second one has the biggest influence on me - I am certainly thinking from a can of pineapple's point of view more often than before. See the thing is , if in your life, you have never been a can of pineapple that has expired or is going to expire soon, I believe you probably would just take another can of pineapple for granted. If you are lucky to be an expired can of pineapple for once in your life, your view of the world will be forever changed and that is a good thing.
ah... I'm talking nonsense again..nighty night.